Making a lifelong commitment to another person can feel frightening, overwhelming, and full of uncertainty.
Are you wondering if you are making the right decision? Are you concerned that you and your partner might not be on the same page about important topics? Do you worry that what feels good right now might not last forever? The decision to get married is often accompanied by big emotions that are difficult to understand and explore in the midst of the excitement, planning, and celebration. You might have an uneasy feeling about questions that go unanswered and concerns that go unaddressed. Perhaps you have a sense that you are about to take an important step, and the significance of this change doesn't really get acknowledged by the people in your life.
Many people experience anxiety, and other difficult feelings, in the face of making such an important decision.
Marriage is a legal and financial arrangement with significant implications. It's also an emotional commitment, and an investment in the idea of a forever future together. If you and your partner have children together, you are likely to be bound together for life. These are all big things to step into, and there are no guarantees that the marriage will last. It makes sense that uncomfortable feelings are likely to arise as you and your partner consider getting married or become engaged.
Premarital counseling can help you feel more confident, and supported, as you move forward with this important life transition.
Premarital counseling sessions are 90 minutes in length and take place virtually or in person in Broomfield, CO. The sessions are an opportunity for you and your partner to explore your decision to get married in a comprehensive and structured way. You may be challenged to consider different aspects of the relationship for the first time. You might develop new insights into why you are wanting to get married to each other in the first place. You may begin to articulate your values as a couple and your vision for the future together.
Partners can invest time at the start to create safety and security within a relationship, an essential ingredient for relationships that stand the test of time.
In a premarital counseling session, you and your partner can learn how to express your true thoughts and feelings. You can learn tools for responding in new ways that allow each partner to feel heard and supported. You can discuss interactions that don't feel good, and then, identify new and different way of interacting that address the issue. One of the more valuable aspects of premarital counseling is each person learning how to create an experience of safety and security for their partner. Developing these skills early on is an invaluable resource for relationship going forward.
I don't want a therapist who doesn't understand our values or lifestyle.
In my approach to working with couples, I don't give advice on how anyone should live their life. My main concern is that the two of you have intentionally considered why you are doing what you are doing. I challenge couples to articulate the "why" behind their decisions. This isn't to question the validity of a couple's values or lifestyle; but rather, to make sure couples have a solid "why" to fall back on when challenges arise. Clarity and alignment around values, on the part of all partners in the relationship, creates a foundation of strength and resiliency to navigate the ups and downs of life.
What if we really aren't compatible and getting married is a bad idea?
As painful as it might be to come to this conclusion, it is better to find out now instead of finding out 10 years from now. If any part of you is worried that getting married might be a mistake, I strongly encourage you to get support and to hold off before finalizing things. If you and your partner are meant to be together, there really shouldn't be any rush. Pay attention to any nagging feelings and honor yourself and your experience by taking the time to investigate what might be going on.
My concerns about the relationship are things that I need to address on my own.
Sometimes individual therapy is absolutely what is called for. Other times, it can be detrimental to use individual therapy to address relationship problems. In order to have a more complete picture, the therapist needs to observe all partners, interactions between partners, and the relationship dynamics. This isn't possible in individual therapy. Additionally, couples therapy provides you with an unparalleled opportunity to see your partner in a new light. In individual therapy you are likely to miss out on important and valuable insights about your partner.
Premarital counseling is an opportunity to create a strong, solid, and stable foundation for your relationship.
The decision to get married is a big one, and I encourage you to take it seriously. There are no guarantees in relationships, but premarital counseling is a step you can take to manage the risks of entering into a lifelong financial, legal, and emotional relationship with another person. Use this opportunity to get to know yourself, your partner, and your relationship more intimately. Get the resources you need to create a relationship that feels safe and secure for both of you.
When looking for premarital counseling in Denver, Colorado, chemistry is everything. You can schedule a free video consultation to see how it feels to talk with me and to ask any questions you may have. If you have particular concerns about premarital therapy, I encourage you to bring them up when we meet! Please familiarize yourself with my pricing and logistics before scheduling.