What Is Happiness
Updated: Mar 25, 2019
Happiness is a feeling that all is well in the world. Like all feelings, it comes and goes.
Everyone is born with the ability to feel and experience happiness. In the beginning, happiness comes easily. Think of all those Facebook videos of babies laughing for no reason.
Then life happens, there are painful experiences, and we subconsciously come up with coping mechanisms for that pain. The coping mechanisms stay in place long after they’ve outgrown their usefulness.
One day, we wake up and happiness feels completely out of reach. Unobtainable. A mystery to be solved. Somewhere “out there,” if only we could find it.
In my own life, I searched for happiness everywhere. I tried to find it in my college education, my marriage, my friendships, my home ownership, my vacations, my travel, my career, my dog, food, alcohol, dancing, New York City, and new clothes and shoes. Happiness was nowhere to be found in the places I was looking. After a lifetime of unsuccessful searching, I began to feel hopeless, desperate and depressed.
In the same way I did, many people believe happiness is something you get. In truth, happiness is something you allow.
Allowing happiness is effortless. Allowing happens naturally, as a byproduct of unwinding all those coping mechanisms we created early on.
The effort comes in the form of being willing to look at ourselves honestly. Being willing to study ourselves, our thoughts, our beliefs, our feelings, our behaviors. By looking inward in this way, those subconscious coping mechanisms get exposed and stop running the show.
My coaching is based on the following practices, that ultimately allow happiness to emerge:
Feeling all feelings. Rather than stuffing down our feelings, expressing them fully. Expressing emotions allows for their release.
Studying the ego. There is a part of the psyche called the ego. It tries to keep us safe by keeping us afraid. Learning to recognize your own ego allows you to break free from its grip.
Surrendering the need to be in control. Spirituality is part of the human experience. When we allow our spiritual selves, we can tap into a whole other realm of support, and stop shouldering the burdens of life alone.
About the Author
Diana Calvo is a certified coach who helps people get unstuck and transform their day-to-day experience of work and life. After 20 years successfully climbing the corporate ladder, Diana experienced her own journey of healing and awakening. She discovered her true calling to guide others on their journey out of suffering and into a life of purpose and joy. Diana left the corporate world to start her own coaching business. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her dog Joey and a beautiful view of the mountains. She works with clients across the globe.