From Anxiety To Peace of Mind
Embrace your anxiety and recognize it as a gateway to lasting peace.
Fear is a human emotion, and as long as you are alive you will experience fear from time to time. As far as I know, it isn’t possible to completely eliminate fear, but it is possible to change your relationship with it. That means making the choice to stop resisting your fear; and instead, allowing, examining and feeling it.
Changing your relationship to fear ultimately equates to changing your way of being in the world. You can change jobs, spouses, zip codes, wardrobe, hair style and a whole other host of external factors, but it’s still you that you have to live with every day. It’s still you, your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors, and your reactions, that create the unique lens through which you view the world, and that color your experience of life.
Like a movie projector displaying a story on a blank screen, whatever is happening inside of you is being projected onto your external circumstances. Your inner world influences your perception of everything you experience. What’s actually happening in the world is like the blank screen, neither good or bad, it just is. You project a story onto what is happening, and that story is based on what is happening inside of you.
Let’s say you are afraid of losing your job. If fear is running amok inside of you, and you have not yet faced it, you are going to interpret many situations at work – remarks, emails, scheduling or re-scheduling meetings, partially overheard conversations, etc. – as threatening to your job. It’s just how it works. Because you won’t look at your fear head on, it makes itself known in other ways. In this example, fear makes you afraid of events that may or may not have anything to do with you or your job.
On the other hand, if you allow yourself to sit with your fear, and to feel afraid of losing your job, two things happen. One, you create the opportunity for the energy of that fear to leave your body. The next time fear shows up, it will be new fear, and not the fear you’ve been carrying around since last week or for the last two decades. Second, the fear is less likely to show up in an unrelated area of your life. Because you’ve faced it, that fear doesn’t need to re-assert itself someplace else in order to get noticed.
There is an inner peace and sense of contentment that naturally settle in at some point after you start forming a real relationship with your fear. When fear is no longer running the show, the truth of who you are has the potential to emerge. All of us, at our core, have tremendous potential for peace and contentment. The question is are we willing to unlearn everything we have ever learned about stuffing down our feelings, and instead to face those feelings and allow them to be.
Something fundamental shifts inside when we finally stop running.
About the Author
Diana Calvo is a psychotherapist and coach who helps people get unstuck and transform their day-to-day experience of work and life. After 20 years successfully climbing the corporate ladder, Diana experienced her own journey of healing and awakening. She discovered her true calling to guide others on their journey out of suffering and into a life of purpose and joy. Diana left the corporate world to start her own coaching business. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her dog Joey and a beautiful view of the mountains. She works with clients across the globe.