You may have recently discovered that you have been living with unhappiness for some time now.
Unhappiness for you might look like a severe lack of energy. Even after reducing your responsibilities to the bare minimum, perhaps you are still struggling to find the energy to make it through the day. You might even be managing your day by the hour, seeking out ways to just get through the hour that is immediately in front of you.
For some people unhappiness is about not seeing a way out of your current circumstances. You want to feel better but really have no idea how to make that happen. Changing your life doesn’t feel like a real possibility and this brings about a sense of despair and hopelessness.
Unhappiness can also be associated with thoughts that your life lacks meaning. You might feel disconnected from your purpose in life and this leaves you with a sense of emptiness that can be debilitating at times. It’s possible you’ve read many self-help books on the topic of life purpose and found none of them to have the answers you were seeking.
Oftentimes, extended periods of unhappiness are accompanied by an underlying sense that something isn’t quite right, a feeling of being ill-at-ease, or of not feeling comfortable in your own skin. These sensations are hard to articulate, let alone deal with. When left unattended, these feelings will often manifest in physical discomfort such as stomach ache, head ache, or recurring cold/flu symptoms that you can’t seem to shake.
It’s also possible that you can’t remember the last time you experienced feelings of joy or happiness. As you observe yourself and those around you, you might believe that deep down all the smiles are fake, and the supposed happiness just isn’t real. Perhaps you are wondering what authentic happiness feels like and if it’s even possible.
A lot of people are living with chronic unhappiness.
Unhappiness can sneak up on you, gradually over time. This can happen naturally as things change but we hold on. For example, a career or a marriage that were in perfect alignment 5 or 10 or 20 years ago, may no longer be in alignment with the person we have grown into.
Dealing with depression or unhappiness can be difficult when there is shame around feeling unsatisfied in life, particularly if you have all the trappings of a good, successful life.
Isolation is another reason unhappiness for long periods of time. As a society we don’t encourage each other to be real when it comes to how we are feeling, especially if we are going through a tough time.
Part of the process of becoming a responsible adult is the process of learning to “suck it up and just deal with” what life throws your way. We take on the habit of believing that unhappiness is just part of what it is to be a grown up.
You don’t have to settle for a life of unhappiness. No matter how you are feeling right now, you can feel better.
I experienced a debilitating depression that gradually overtook my life during the course of three years. I reached a point where I didn’t believe my life was worth living any longer, and ending my life felt like a very reasonable alternative to living out the rest of my years with constant emotional pain.
After hitting my absolute rock bottom, I made the choice to pull myself out of depression, and for me it was important to do it without the use of prescription medication.
If I can do it, so can you.
I’ve learned, practiced, and continue to practice, a number of tools and techniques that are effective in moving past unhappiness and living from a place of deep inner peace.
A paradigm shift is possible. Right now your normal state might be one of discomfort, with moments of relief. If you are willing to shed some of your habits, you can learn to live in a normal state of relief, with moments of discomfort.
My coaching will provide you with the tools and support you need to live a life with authentic happiness.
My coaching is based on the premise that nothing is wrong with you, it’s only that you have developed some habits that aren’t particularly useful anymore. The habits have to do with thinking, believing, feeling, responding, avoiding, seeking. Through the examination of these habits, you will naturally open up to doing what you don’t normally do, and this is how you genuinely change over time and learn how to beat depression.
It’s not a sexy, glamorous, over-the-top, leave-everything-behind-and-get-a-new-life kind of change. Rather, it’s a change in the experience of normal, mundane, everyday life.
This is a big deal when we are struggling to make it through day-to-day life.
It’s a change that is genuine and that lasts. It’s a return to inner peace, and a sense of being comfortable in your own skin. It’s a calm inside that runs steady and deep, as life continues to bring its ups and downs.
You might be thinking you are better off figuring it out on your own and saving some money.
The truth is that we are not meant to do this thing called life alone. Human beings are pack animals. We are social creatures, and we exist in relationship to others. This is ancient wisdom that has been largely stigmatized within our current culture where logic, self-sufficiency, and perceived control over outcomes are valued above all else.
In the healthy psychological development of a human, a baby’s first experience of existing in relationship to others happens when the baby sees the mirroring of his or her emotions on the mother’s face. This is the way human beings process emotions and move beyond them. We cannot fully process our experiences in life, and our feelings about those experiences, in isolation.
I offer my clients the opportunity to be seen and witnessed in a safe space without judgement. This creates the ideal condition for how to overcome depression and get back to happiness.
Perhaps you want to wait for a better time to do this, when things are more settled.
Ultimately, you will know in your heart when you are ready to stop living in a state of constant unhappiness. It is important that you are at a place in your life when you are ready to do the work, because like anything that’s worth it, you will have to do the work.
Having said that, I would encourage you to consider the reality that you have time for the things you make time for. Life will constantly be throwing challenges your way, and that isn’t going to change, regardless of whether or not you choose to purchase my coaching services.
But, if you do decide to do coaching with me, you can change how you respond to the challenges that life throws your way. You can experience day-to-day life in a different way, with a sense of deep inner peace that isn’t shaken by the ups and downs of life.
Maybe you don’t think it’s possible for anyone to genuinely help you with your situation.
I felt this way, too, for many years of my life. Until one day I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working. I ran out of ideas for how to feel better. Over the course of my life I left everything that I believed was the source of my inability to feel good: my family, my (then) husband, my home, my career. When there was nothing left but me, I was at a loss. I needed help to get a new perspective, from someone who had walked this path before me.
I’m now in a position where I have walked (and continue to walk) the path myself, have received training from others who have walked the path, and I continue to learn, grow and evolve based on what life brings me. I can offer you a new set of tools for dealing with chronic unhappiness that have the potential to set you free.
" Diana has a very special gift: she listens deeply and empathically, and allows one’s story to emerge little by little, until one finds oneself looking at one’s life experiences, and emotions in a very different way, and with the benefit of the many insights that emerge in the course of conversations together. Diana’s own journey has been a source of great inspiration, she has done all the difficult soul-searching work that one encounters in the course of seeking to transform one’s life so she is not only a coach but someone who has lived the very challenges and experiences that are explored in the course of the coaching sessions. She brought to our sessions her wisdom, her knowledge, her empathy, her open heart and a deep commitment to helping people chart a life that they are passionate about living. "
Julia, New York
About the Author
Diana Calvo is a certified life coach and registered psychotherapist who helps people get unstuck and transform their day-to-day experience of work and life. After 20 years successfully climbing the corporate ladder, Diana experienced her own journey of healing and awakening. She discovered her true calling to guide others on their journey out of suffering and into a life of purpose and joy. Diana left the corporate world to start her own coaching business. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her dog Joey and a beautiful view of the mountains. She works with clients across the globe.